Nightmares & Blessings

We have all had a nightmare or two that sticks with us emotionally when we wake. We awaken to a fast beating heart, fear, anger, and perhaps tears. What can we take from those that stem from our truest, deepest and darkest fears?

I experienced one of these nightmares myself just last night. I awoke with a fright in my heart. I had dreamed my husband confessed unemotionally that he had been unfaithful since even before our marriage.  He was cold and uncaring of my inevitable heartbreak.  He wanted nothing to do with reconciliation and my emotional distress and his indiscretions were all my own to deal with.  My heart broke and I felt my mind crack and I became distraught and murderous.

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP, my phone has a random alarm go off at 3:30-something in the AM and awakens me from this terrible hell. In shock I am fully aware of the epic drama that has just occurred in my head. I know it isn’t true and my husband comforts me. I realize quickly this dream was not about my husband, John, but a horrifying re-living of my previous marriage. I sit up in bed realizing this and it brings me to tears that come from a wound of deep seeded pain and betrayal just as sore as it was the day it was created.

Today I realize that some heart ache’s never heal, to the point that it just doesn’t matter or that it’s like it never happened. True heartbreak and betrayal can never be written off. Why, do I say this? What about forgiveness you ask? Forgiveness can be found and as time passes we move on and the pain is no longer apart of our daily lives, but, if we value our selves we can never say to the depth of our soul that it is ok for someone to treat us so cruelly.

The Face of God by Sheanna Marie

However, today I also realize how truly blessed I am now. How God has lifted me up from the trenches of darkness into a light and love like I have never known before.  We must find the strength to awaken ourselves from the nightmares of life and trust in the goodness of God to lift us up into euphoria.

Psalms 147:3

     He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

2 Corinthians 4:9 
     Persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed;

Love (multi-media) by Sheanna Marie